The Ward Family: G-Baby Turns 2 & Random E-mails

Post Date 2011-07-12

I was cleaning out some e-mails and realized that Ryan and I have some interesting conversations.

4th of July Turtle Races
Ju: They have been looking for 3 turtles for the turtle races again this year in Garber. Apparently Gigi found the turtle Tad used last year today in her yard. It still had the "t" in nail polish on his back. The champions (Tad and his turtle) are returning again to defend their title.

Ry: That is funny! They will think he has been training it all year, giving it performance enhancing drugs, and will disqualify him.

Ju: Shoot... I didn't know Garber had a rule about turtle doping!

Ry: Yeah, you should read the rule book sometime. It may take some time because it is very thorough. I memorized it and know that Rule 161.15.3 clearly states "No turtle doping."

Ju: Darn...So what are the pre-event testing requirements? Maybe there is a way we can get around the doping. Are you on the council? Shh don't tell.

Are there any other rules I should be aware of? Where can I get a copy of this handbook?

Ry: Well a summarized version is, at the weigh-in two (2) urine samples and two (2) blood samples will be collected. They will test hormone levels and DNA. "Why DNA?" you ask. To ensure the testudine is, in fact, a turtle, not a tortoise or terrapin. (Please note: Any snapping turtles caught "snapping" at other competitors will be automatically disqualified. No exceptions.) A meticulous inspection of the skin is next to make sure the trainer has not forced skin molting to shed weight. Once the turtles make it past that, they will be subject to a "Sanctioned Aerodynamic Calibration Test": to make sure there is no cosmetic work done to the carapce or plastron, "shell shaving" to the lay person. Claws will be cut to the appropriate race length set yearly by the National Testudine Race Council (NTRC), located (appropriately) on the Galapagos Islands. The final pre-race inspection is to the participant's tail. It cannot be longer than the distance between the trainer's thumb and index finger.

All contestants receive a copy of the rule book at entry. They are under strict orders to share their copies with NO ONE. Because you are too old, you likely will never get to see a copy.

Ju: Looks like Tad's turtle is screwed.

Ry: I guess we will find out at race time.

First Day of Grad School
Ry: Just wanted to tell you to behave yourself on the first day of class. Obey the teacher and play nice with the other students. If you have any questions go to the principal (remember his title ends in PAL).

Skunk Problem - A skunk was trapped under our house in the garage.
Ju: After a lengthy discussion with the work crew we have come to a skunk problem conclusion.
- I am going to borrow an animal trap from Ann.
- I am going to set it at the hole where the skunk goes in and out and make sure it is sealed so Rudi can't get in there and only the skunk can when it is trying to leave.
- Cover the trap with a blanket... very important step.
- Catch the skunk!
- Take the skunk to the country in the back of a pickup... another very important step.
- Attempt to let it go without getting sprayed...blanket is still covering the trap.
- Reset the trap at skunk entrance and make sure there are not any more.
- It's fool proof!

Ry: Lol... you forgot a step:
- Take a bath in tomato juice after getting sprayed and burn clothes.

Seriously though, if there is a blanket over the trap, how are you going to know whether or not you caught it? Where do you plan on putting the trap so Rudi can't get in? Don't forget, there are 2 pianos in the way.

Ju: Well... with the blanket over the trap you have to be sneaky... maybe a quick peek when you sneak up??? Maybe we can make sure there is a slit in the blanket so I can look without moving anything.

We are going to to have to move the pianos and put the trap at the entrance. It will need to be blocked off so nothing can get under the house and the only way for the skunk to get out is to go into the trap.

Ry: This is going to be a disaster. Someone is going to smell like skunk!!

I am thinking a bear trap is the way to go. That way it will kill the skunk fast enough it won't have time ti spray (or hurt the skunk).

Ju: Where in the world are we going to find a bear trap?? AND what IF it accidentally moved and RUDI was able to get in it???

Ry: Fine... You do it your way and when you smell bad, do not come crying to me.

Ju: Well... besides the bear trap what other ideas do you have??? I don't want Rudi to perish in this ordeal.

Dee said once we catch it to call the animal patrol and they should come and get it. Garber used to have one (they picked up dogs anyways) and Nici said that Covington has one so maybe we could call them once it is trapped.

You will be the one crying... you have to sleep next to me!!!

Ry: No other ideas. I will lock you out of the house.

Ju: Oh no you won't!!! If you do I might decide to live under the house and befriend all the skunks!!

Birthday
Ju: Today is a special occasion. Ponder and let me know if you can figure it out!

Ry: I have nothing. What is it?

Ju: Beauty's birthday. Come on.... where were you on that one?!?!?! My baby turns 9 today.

Ry: Sorry I drew a blank. I can't BELIEVE I forgot that!!!

Ju: I mean really... how could you forget our kid's birthday?

Ry: In fairness, she was around before me so technically she is not "our" kid. I am more of a "step" and we all know how that goes sometimes.

Ju: Um... well... she really looks up to you (hehe) and you are the only father she has ever known. You all don't have the "step" relationship that sometimes happens.

Ry: If you say so.

Ryan and Louie - Ryan was taking Louie to the vet.
Ry: So I guess Louie was not ready to be in the purse and decided to get up and go wheel some more. I chased the little booger around his cage trying to get him into the purse and he didn't want to. Finally he got back on the wheel and taunted me by wheeling so I turned it on its back so he couldn't run from me.

Ju: Lol were you trying to get him to run into the purse? He was under his towel this morning when I caught him. It didn't even look like he had wheeled last night (from what I could tell). He might have though. I hope this vet has experience with hedgehogs. Louie is not very cooperative with vets.

Ry: Well at first I hoped he would just run out of the wheel into the purse and he didn't. Then I tried to trap him so the purse was the only option, I was wrong. Then he went to switch tubs and get in the one with food so I stuck the purse over the opening and he stopped in the connecting tube. It was madness.

Ju: What a devious little guy. He probably thought you were going to take him to see little kids.

Ry: Probably and was running for his life.

Below: Sissy and Tad just love each other!

Below: Mom, Grandma, and Grandpa are looking at the book I made Ben for Christmas.

Below: Addison and I having fun at dinner.

Below: Cutest little feet. (Tad)

Below: Tad was swinging (big one) and Addison and her Daddy were being silly... all having a GREAT time.

Below: Tad + Water Hose = LOVE and hours of fun!

Below: G-Baby at his 2nd birthday party!! He is such a neat little guy.

Below: Grayson and Alyssa hanging out before dinner.

Below: Grayson's birthday cake. Unfortunately 5 of the fish went belly up... HA!

Below: Grayson blowing out his candle!

Below: Grayson making a fish face.

Below: An intense game of peek-a-boo was going on. He has the sweetest smile.

Below: I love this picture of Alyssa and her Momma.

Below: It is finally time to open presents!

Below: Ryan and I got Grayson a birthday card that had a bunch of animals telling him happy birthday. He was making all the animal sounds. Too funny!

Below: Grayson went flying on the sit and spin.

Below: Grayson LOVED the jack in the box from Uncle Greg.

Below: Alyssa reading Uncle Ryan a book.

Below: Ma feeding Ava a bottle.

Below: Addison, Poppa, and Gigi are being silly. They always have a great time together.

Below: Ava cruising around on the table.

Below: Hanging out swinging. Just love those blue eyes!

Below: Addison loves the swing too!

Below: Tad and Dad found a new way to swing!

Below: And it was SO MUCH FUN!!

Below: Poppa and Gigi hanging out with their favorite girls!

Below: Grandpa Dale playing with the kiddos.

Below: Doctor Grandpa doing a quick skin examination on Addison.

Below: On May 4, 2011, my Grandma Lou's precious kitty Tasha passed away. Tasha often wrote letters to my kitty Beauty. Tasha and Beaty are both Persian kitties and just weeks apart in age. Beauty had a special stone made for Tasha's resting place and sent it along with a card to Tasha's parents. The feisty, unique, loving kitty will be missed.

The stone on the left is my Grandma's other kitty Princess that passed. She was also very near and dear to her heart. May we always remember the love and joy pets bring to our lives.

Below: Tad was at Poppa and Gigi's house working in the shed. He was changing the tires on the lawnmower.

Below: I was with Tad out in the shed and decided to take a seat in the grass to cool off in the breeze. Little did I know that I sat smack dab on an ant den. I was literally covered head to toe in ants in a matter of seconds. I proceeded to jump up and down screaming (they were biting me) all the while trying to tell Tad that I was okay. I then stripped down to my undergarments and tried to shake off the ants. I quickly found out that ants don't "shake off" your clothing, and while trying they will crawl off the clothing and up your arm and continue the attack. I dropped the clothes, got most of the ants off, and then realized my dilemma. I was approximately 100 yards from my grandparents house in nothing but my bra and unds without a cell phone. Ryan, Mom, Grandpa, and Grandma were all in the house. I decided to run to the front of the house and prayed that nobody would drive in the the driveway. Mom and Ryan came out and helped me get the rest of the ants off.

Below: Ryan was trying to get all the ants off my clothing.